Awakening Alex Read online

  Although it was late, he knew it was useless to try to sleep. He was far too restless. He’d like to think it was because of all the things that had driven him to seek refuge here in the first place. But there was no denying the truth. It was because of the woman who lay asleep just down the hall.

  He’d never felt anything quite like the quick sizzle of need that he’d experienced tonight. With little more than the touch of her lips, he’d been completely aroused. It had taken all his willpower to step back. But even now, just thinking about it, he wished it had been otherwise. He’d seen something in her eyes. Something as hot, as dangerous, as the feelings he was experiencing. Unless he’d misread her, she’d been as caught up in the moment as he.

  He pressed his forehead to the cold windowpane, hoping to cool the fever that raged. Bad timing, he reminded himself. His system was already overloaded. The last thing he needed in his complicated life was one more complication. And Alex Sullivan was definitely that. A complication he simply couldn’t afford right now.

  Across the room, the fire had burned itself out, until all that remained were gleaming coals. Grant turned, intent on tossing another log on the grate.

  Before he could move, he heard a sound and looked up to see a figure flitting through the shadows. He froze. In almost the same instant, he realized the figure was Alex.

  He watched as she moved unerringly through the dark to the kitchen. Minutes later he heard the refrigerator door open and close; saw the light spill into the room, then fade. Before he could slip away to his room she returned.

  He remained in the shadows, hoping she would leave and go back to her bedroom without noticing him. Instead she paused in front of the fireplace, to stare down into the gleaming coals.

  She was barefoot, her hair streaming long and loose down her back, and wearing simple, men’s-tailored pajamas. Grant thought he’d never seen anyone look more appealing. He studied her profile. She looked pensive. As disturbed as he’d been this past hour.

  She sighed. Deep in thought she lifted a glass of milk to her lips and drank, before turning away.

  Out of the corner of her eye she caught a slight movement. She let out a shriek and the glass tipped, sloshing milk over the rim before she managed to right it, grasping it in both hands.

  “Grant.” His name came out in a whoosh of air.

  “Sorry.” He stepped closer. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “I thought you were in bed. I saw a light under your door.”

  “I tried to sleep.” He shrugged. “When I couldn’t, I just figured I’d come out here for a while.”

  Now that her eyes had adjusted to the dim light, she could see that he was barely dressed. The sight of that half-naked body was doing strange things to her.

  She lowered her gaze. “I…couldn’t sleep either. I thought maybe some milk would help.” She felt foolish staring at the glass in her hands. But she didn’t know where else to look.

  “It’s dripping.” He pried the glass away and set it on a table. Then he reached into his back pocket and withdrew a clean handkerchief, which he used to dry her fingers.

  At once the heat was back. Searing her flesh. Firing her blood. The mere touch of him had her system going haywire. “Thanks. You don’t…have to do…” She looked up. His eyes were in shadow, but she could tell he was staring at her the same way he’d stared earlier tonight.

  She needed to escape. Quickly. Before she did something foolish. She started to turn away. “I’d better…” Her words were cut off abruptly when he closed his hands over her upper arms.

  “Alex.” His voice was deeper than usual. Rough with an emotion that might have been impatience or frustration. “You don’t really think we can turn away from this a second time.”

  “We have to.” She touched a hand to his chest to push him away, then drew it back abruptly.

  “No, we don’t.” In the same instant he drew her firmly against him and lowered his head, until his mouth hovered just above hers. His eyes were as heated as his touch. “This time we have to finish it.”

  Without giving her time to disagree, his lips covered hers. There was nothing soft or tentative about the kiss. A kiss so hungry she felt herself drawn completely into it. His mouth moved over hers, taking, demanding, while his hands moved up her arms, across her shoulders, then slowly down her spine, pressing her to the length of him.

  Alex felt her head swim as he changed the angle and took the kiss deeper. She felt the need rise up until a moan sounded low in her throat. A moan that sounded more animal than human.

  It would be so easy to take what he offered. To allow herself to be taken. But it wouldn’t be right. Not for either of them. This was madness. But where had it come from?

  She jerked back and for the first time in her life was nearly overcome with fear. A fear that had her by the throat and was choking her. She wanted to run. To hide from whatever it was in this man that had turned her knees to jelly and her mind to mush.

  “You can’t… I won’t…” Her face had gone pale. Her eyes wide.

  He recognized the fear in them. But there was something else as well. The stirrings of something much deeper. And infinitely more dangerous for both of them. Passion. Hunger. He’d tasted it on her lips. Could read it in her eyes. Emotions that mirrored his own.

  “I have to…” She started to pull away but he was quicker.

  In one smooth motion he dragged her close and savaged her mouth. His hands were equally rough, almost bruising in their intensity as they moved over her.

  She could feel the barely controlled tension in him. It only served to excite her more. Her head swam. Her blood ran hot, surging through her veins, leaving her too weak to do more than hold on as he took her on a heart-stopping, head-spinning ride.

  This was insane. She’d never felt such heat from a single kiss. Nor such need. It vibrated through her, catching her by surprise. She wanted him. Wanted this. Wanted more of the heat and the passion and the need.

  When her hands circled his neck and fisted in his hair, he forgot everything except the woman in his arms. His grasp tightened. The kiss deepened. His hands moved down her back, loving the softness of flannel. At the moment it seemed more erotic to him than silk. When his fingers moved beneath the fabric to find her flesh, he felt a wave of desire that staggered him. He was desperate to touch her everywhere.

  It was her little cry that brought him back to earth with a jolt. Until then he hadn’t realized he’d actually lifted her off her feet. It shamed him to realize he’d forgotten his own strength. He’d practically crushed her in his arms.

  He set her down almost roughly, before taking a step back, drawing air into his starving lungs.

  Alex stood breathing deeply, waiting for her heart to settle. She could see him doing the same. And watching her in that strange, intense way that always managed to unnerve her.

  Before she could find her voice he turned away. Without looking at her he said, “If you’re smart you’ll run back to your room as fast as you can and lock the door.”

  He turned then, and she caught a glimpse of something dark and dangerous in his eyes. “Now, Alex. Before we do something we’ll both regret.”

  Without another word she turned and fled down the hall.

  He waited until he heard her door close. Then he pressed both hands to the window and stared morosely out into the darkness. And willed himself to stay where he was rather than give in to the almost overpowering temptation to storm her room and take what he wanted.

  In the days that followed, Alex threw herself into a frenzy of work. If Lem noticed that she was a bit tense, he wrote it off as prewinter jitters.

  “Happens every autumn,” he muttered to Grant as the two men passed each other on the front porch.

  “What does?”

  “That.” He nodded toward Alex, who was busy sawing a dangling limb from a nearby tree. “Has to have everything ready before the first snowfall. See those weak tree branches? Could be dangerou
s if they got too heavy with snow. They’re close enough to the roof to cause plenty of damage.”

  “Yeah.” Grant paused to admire the way she looked on the ladder, her cheeks as red as apples, her hair fluttering on the breeze. “I suppose once the snows fall, she’ll be pretty much on her own here at the lodge.”

  The older man nodded. “Marge, that’s the wife,” he explained with a fleeting smile, then started over. “Marge and I keep in contact with her by phone, but sometimes I can’t get up here. Just digging out of my own driveway can take a day or more. And sometimes the road from my place to the lodge is closed. Not that we worry about Alex. No matter how bad the storms or deep the snow, she’s always the same. Busy and cheerful.”

  Lem noticed the backpack. “Where’re you off to?”

  Grant tore his gaze from the woman on the ladder to look at the old man. He shrugged. “Wherever the trail takes me.”

  In order to put some distance between himself and Alex, he’d begun leaving early in the morning, and not returning until early evening, when the sun was already far below the tree line. For the past couple of mornings he and Lem had taken a moment to pause and exchange a few words before going their separate ways.

  As Grant took his leave, Lem put away his tools and stepped out of the shed. Alex was just setting a ladder against the side of the lodge.

  “Starting early this morning, aren’t you?”

  She turned. “Figured I’d get at it while the weather held.”

  “Saw your guest.”

  She’d seen him as well. And had been forced to endure a quick jolt to her heart before getting back to her work. She kicked mud off her boots and started to climb. “Did he say where he was going?”

  “Just off by himself.” The old man held the ladder steady. “Don’t the two of you ever talk?”

  She shrugged and reached for the caulking gun. “Not unless we have to.”

  “Does that mean he’s still brooding?”

  She glanced down. “He seems to have a lot on his mind.”

  “How about over supper? Don’t the two of you discuss what you did all day?”

  “Sometimes.” She bent to her work, hoping Lem would let it go. The truth was, she and Grant had spent the past couple of evenings dancing gingerly around each other, trying not to think about the feelings they’d unearthed.

  Just thinking about it had Alex sweating. She struggled to shut out the image of Grant from her mind. But it was impossible. The harder she tried, the more indelible seemed the sight of him, like some fierce, half-naked savage, drawing her in with no more than a look.

  In truth, that’s what frightened her the most. Not the seething tension she’d felt in him, or the raw passion, but the ease with which she’d given herself up to it. She knew nothing about this man, but had practically thrown herself into his arms. With no more than a simple kiss, he’d lit a fuse in her that was still setting off explosions.

  A simple kiss. She closed her eyes against the thought of it. There was nothing simple about the way he’d kissed her. In her entire life, she’d never experienced anything quite like it. And she couldn’t even figure out why it had been so shattering. She’d been drawn into something so overpowering, she’d been helpless to slow it down, or even try to put on the brakes.

  There just seemed to be something in her that had responded to the very brooding, very mysterious Grant Malone.

  This could prove to be a delicate situation. They were, after all, sharing a pretty confining space. And she still had no idea how long he intended to stay.

  “I see you didn’t do this one yet.”

  Alex pulled herself back from her thoughts to glance over at Lem. He was standing on a ladder at the far end of the lodge.

  “No. I thought I’d start on this end.”

  “Okay. I’ll work my way over. We’ll meet somewhere in the middle.”

  “Fine.” She paused a moment. Maybe that was what she and Grant ought to strive for. Meeting somewhere in the middle. They couldn’t keep avoiding each other. The lodge was too small. There was nowhere to hide. Besides, until that kiss, she’d enjoyed their dinners together. She wanted to get back to that easy feeling. She wanted to laugh with him. Exchange stories about their grandfathers.

  Devour him in one single bite.

  She winced, then returned her attention to the job at hand. Tonight she would stop hiding in her room. She’d make dinner and invite him to join her in the great room. She’d keep the conversation simple, the mood light. And maybe, just maybe, they could get back on track.

  Grant climbed to the very top of the wooded hill and paused to catch his breath before turning to enjoy the view. He’d hiked to the far side of the lake, and was standing on the highest point. From here he could see the lodge, looking like a sparkling jewel in the autumn sunshine.

  He’d begun to look forward to these treks. Not only did they test his endurance, but they forced him to step outside himself. To stand back from his problems and simply enjoy the beauty of nature.

  In the bustling city there had been no time to mark the changing seasons. In his line of work, one season was pretty much like another. And all of them brought their own particular set of problems.

  Here, so far from civilization, he’d become aware of so many things he’d never noticed before. He could actually see the days growing shorter, as morning arrived a little later and dusk settled a little sooner. In the city, with all its neon, it had never been so noticeable. But out here, everything about nature was so clear. The way little clouds of mist formed over the lake as the morning sun began to rise, warming the water. The way the air seemed perfumed with so many different scents. Pungent earth and sweet, clean evergreen and spicy apple.

  He slipped off the backpack and sat in the grass. And found his thoughts returning to Alex. He loved the way she smelled. Light, delicate. Like a field of wildflowers. He could still taste her. As fresh and clean as a woodland stream in winter. And the way she’d felt in his arms.

  One touch and he’d been on fire.

  What was he going to do about this? If he couldn’t find a way to ease the tension between them, he’d have to go. Not that he wanted to. This place had actually been a last resort. He’d already tried the shrinks and the pills. Meditation. Yoga. Working out until his body had protested and refused to cooperate. Nothing had worked. If he was forced to give up hope and return, there was nothing left for him. Nothing but the same bleak days and nights he’d endured before coming here.

  So how could he and Alex resolve this thing between them and get back to where they’d been before that kiss?

  He thought of the pleasant conversation. The easy laughter. He’d enjoyed it more than he’d realized. He wanted that again.

  And he wanted her. Wanted to feast on her. Inch by tantalizing inch. It was the first thing he thought about in the morning. The last coherent thought each night. And it was making him crazy.

  He bit down on an oath. Maybe that was what he wanted, but it wouldn’t be right for either of them. He was in no condition for more than a casual relationship. If Alex were a different sort of woman, he’d simply enjoy a few weeks of hot sex, and get on with his life. But Alexandra Sullivan didn’t strike him as the type for a brief fling, no matter how torrid. He knew, from the first time he’d looked into those eyes, that she was the kind of woman a man made promises to. Promises he’d rather die than break.

  There was something else to consider. Actually, someone else. Their two grandfathers, who had been friends for more than fifty years. Those two old men wouldn’t take kindly to anyone who abused that friendship.

  He stood and picked up the backpack. There was plenty of time for heavy thinking on the hike back. From the looks of that sun, it would be evening before he made it back to the lodge.

  Between now and then he had to come up with a way to be around Alex without trying to ravish her. Not that he didn’t still want to. But he had to find a way to curb that appetite and locate some comfortable grou
nd where the two of them could meet without all this tension.

  He flashed a quick grin. What he wouldn’t give, though, for just one night with Alex Sullivan. He had no doubt it would be memorable.

  Chapter 6

  Alex pulled on a pair of warm woolen leggings in pale oatmeal and slipped a softly cowled tunic in the same shade over her head. She was grateful for the warmth, since there had been a definite bite in the air by the time she and Lem had finished for the day. The hot shower had felt heavenly.

  Humming along with the music on her stereo, she pulled the pins from her hair and ran a brush through the tangles. Then she started down the hall toward the kitchen. When she pushed open the door she was surprised to find Grant standing at the stove, stirring something in a big iron skillet.

  “I thought you were still out in the woods. I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “No wonder. When I passed your room you were singing along with the Dixie Chicks.” He saw the slight flush on her cheeks. “Not bad, for a shower serenade.”

  She struggled to push aside the feelings of un-ease. He looked entirely too cool and confident. “What are you making?”

  “Chili. I hope you don’t mind. I found some ground sirloin in the cooler. I figured I’d get started while you were giving a concert in your room. No telling how long you intended to stand under that warm spray.”

  “It felt great. The temperature must have dropped twenty degrees since this afternoon.”

  “Yeah. I noticed. Got any grated cheese?”

  “No. But I have a block of cheddar and a grater.”

  “Even better.” He stirred the bubbling chili and turned the heat to simmer.

  She rummaged in the cupboards until she located the grater. Then she began unwrapping the cheese.

  He reached for it. “I’ll do that…”